I'm so sorry.

After downing the champers at a rate David Boon would be proud of when she attended the GQ Man of the Year Awards last week, then shooting off her mouth at co-host Elton John only to be shot down in flames regarding her stomach, shall we say, for toot, as they say - and then realising it was all caught on tape - Lily Allen's probably been feeling more than a little sorry for herself these past couple of days. Well, you'd assume that, but thanks to the wonders of online social networking, we can confirm that as well!

Allen's Facebook entry read: "Lily is dying inside", which replaced an earlier statement, when she wrote on her page: "Lily has had enough feels like killing herself".

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Even though there's still a fair whack of the year left to go, it's probably safe to say that 2008 hasn't been as "two-thousand-and-great" as Channel Nine would've hoped; between bonings, cancellations, court orders and Sam Newman, it's been an annus horribilis that even the battle scarred Queen Liz would've shuddered at. Thus, I don't want to jinx things for our "friends" over at Nine HQ, but the latest whisperings in this godforsaken world could well point towards one of the best ideas the network has come up with in a while: bringing back Hey Hey, It's Saturday! Yes, with Daryl Somers newly exited from Dancing With The Stars, he's looking for a gig, and word on the street is that a series of Hey Hey clip shows could turn into a revival.

After turning his back on an offer from Foxtel to create a one-off Hey Hey It's Saturday reunion, Somers is apparently back in discussions with Nine boss David Gyngell about refronting the show.

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Ladies mag editors around the country must be rubbing their hands together with glee after Tasma Walton admitted in an interview with Sunday Magazine that she's hankering for babies with television hosting superstar and annual Logies victor Rove McManus.

In an exclusive interview with Sunday Magazine Walton, 35, talked of her happiness with the Gold Logie winner, saying she was now content with everything in her life except for one thing. "More and more, the idea of having a child appeals - and it hasn't always been that way," she said.

I suppose gazing at Rove's cherubic features, combined with Peter Helliar's no doubt non stop chatter about his little ones, is enough to turn a woman onto the idea of motherhood.

Tasma continues, discussing her relationship with Rove and the tabloid interest once their dalliance was revealed in the press:

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Reader Anthony sent in a link to a YouTube video, with a note saying:

bored.
aircon is set far too high
maybe i should have a crunchy bar..

I don't know what that all means - is it a poem? Code? The beginning of some sort of viral marketing campaign for Crunchy bars? Or just a strangely honest revelation about the life of Anthony? It's all so tremendously confusing.

Obviously I was already feeling a little unsettled when I followed the link to the video Anthony sent me, and after watching the clip I was even more baffled.

I mean, really. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? The only thing of which I can be certain is that Pencil Face will be appearing in my nightmares from this day forth.

Last night's Wild Card episode wasn't enough to keep me in the house, the lure of Japanese food and my friend Booky's text message stating "You know Idol is shit, come to tea" overpowering my original desire to remain couch-bound and Marcia'd up to the eyeballs, but thanks to the wonders of technology, I was able to view the performances once I got home and I've gotta say...

I'm not overly enthusiastic about any of the singers (James Spargo makes me want to go a little punchy actually, ever since the audition episodes where he cried at the drop of a hat) but if Roshani doesn't make it into the Top Twelve, I will boycott the show for the rest of the season*.

Watch her performance, and soak up more vapid thoughts from Your Editor, after the jump.

*Note: When push comes to shove, I probably won't stand by this vow.

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Let me start off by saying that I hate myself for that lame 'Suddenly I See'-with-a-nuptial-twist gag.

Moving swiftly along, it's time to shout "Huzzah!" (and possibly "Who cares!") for Very Popular TM singer KT Tunstall has finally gotten hitched to her long term drummer boyfriend, disappointing lesbian fans everywhere who were convinced that Tunstall donning rainbow-coloured braces on a record cover meant her interests included diving and listening the kd lang.

Scots singer KT Tunstall married her fiance, drummer Luke Bullen, on the Isle of Skye. The 33-year-old from Fife exchanged her vows in a marquee overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

She wore a full-length white silk strapless gown and the groom wore a powder-blue morning suit as 150 friends and family descended on four-star Flodigarry Country House Hotel set amid the island's stunning natural scenery.

They might have been wearing traditional couture, but the guests who attended the ceremony were certainly dressed in a rather more exotic fashion.

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· Oh. Ma. Ga. Ladies and gentlemen: Britney Spears, lean, mean, and executing complicated choreography. Is she actually going to perform at the VMAs? You'll just have to tune in to our liveblog—from the actual theatre, all live-like!—to find out. [MSN Video]
· "The item in today's 'Drudge Report' is categorically untrue," Winfrey wrote. "There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show...I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over." Translation: That lipstick-wearing pitbull gets this lipstick-wearing pitbull ratings, not the other way around. [ABC News]
· Because we can never get enough, here's an entire gallery of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist star Michael Cera looking adorable next to someone else. [Getty Images]
· Let Mary Hart take you on a tour of ET's all-new, state-of-the-art, super-duper hi-def set! Yup, that oughta hold 'er for another 50 years. [ET Online]
· And finally, we'd like you to meet John Travis, the indestructible singing delivery guy. We just hope it's never on the road. [YouTube]

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Out of the 2006 Oscars came many things, among them an unlikely two-horse sprint—one gay, one racist and mangled—between Brokeback Mountain and Crash for Best Picture. Crash would win, its tapestry of bigoted Angelenos embarking upon a futuristic death race for ultimate ethnic supremacy striking a chord in many Academy voters. Some time passed, and news came down the transom that Crash would become a weekly TV series on Starz. (While Brokeback Mountain: The Series never really progressed past the point of some preliminary interest at that network's specialty offshoot, Gayz.) Well, friends, we're thrilled to now present for you the Crash series trailer. It might not have Matt Dillon and Sandra Bullock, but it does have Dennis Hopper—who told us personally about his enthusiasm for the series ("We had an orgy the other day. For me it's a joy,"), and who in it delivers what is sure to become his signature phrase ("OOOhhh—I'm scared of a black man with a gun!") with admirable aplomb. [Crash]

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Touted as a historical television fundraiser and awareness drive across three networks (Fox is sitting it out — stay classy, Rupe!), tonight's Stand Up For Cancer event was momentous enough to commandeer halftime during Thursday's NFL season opener at Giants Stadium. But it wasn't quite momentous enough to keep the sold-out crowd from cascading jeers onto unpopular Giants co-owner/Oscar-winning producer Steve Tisch and innocent bystander Jeff Zucker, whose eventual introduction and comments were only slightly better regarded than his host's, according to a Defamer operative in attendance. (Seriously — did Zucker's infamous My Name is Earl introduction get around to that many people?) A fan captured the video featured after the jump, featuring plenty of middle fingers, chants of "asshole" and a much more benevolent welcome for Zucker-preceder Christie Brinkley. Tough crowd, indeed. [YouTube]

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